Unexpected Lessons (part 1)– On Judgment

I've come across a lot of amazing people in my organization. As I have worked with them,  I kept gaining interesting and very deep insights along the way. About work, about values, about our world, so on and so forth. I don’t know whether it was their intention at all, to teach or to make a profound point, but it happened none the less.  Maybe that’s the reason it happened.

I want to talk about the first of these today. I’ll try and do this in a series of sorts – with this being Part 1.

Judgment v/s Discernment

I have been associated with the school of pranic healing for a long time now, and the values that we are encouraged to practice as students, are very deeply ingrained in my heart and mind. One such value is kindness and compassion for others, which according to me is one of the hardest ones to apply and practice in the long term. Our subconscious psychological processes are extremely powerful, just as they are subtle. And before we know it, our mind has scanned the person in front of us, filtering through its biases and prejudices, made snap judgments and popped out a long list of the possible flaws this person is likely to have. Criticism is possibly a survival mechanism, it’s required for us to ensure our safety, but in its unchecked form its just a lot of noise and projection in our heads, mostly done for the heck of it. And being aware of it and controlling it, is one of the things I have found hardest to do.

Being unnecessarily critical and judgmental about others is something that I have aimed to achieve for a long time and along the way, I just came to disliking the whole idea of judging people and criticizing them instead of accepting them for who they are. Having been subjected to the phenomenon myself far too many times, I still cringe when I find it happening around me (not that I don’t indulge in it myself).

My colleague and I were having a conversation around this concept a few months ago, and as he realized that I had shrunk away at the idea of judgment; he smiled knowingly, and said to me – “ Are we talking about judgment or discernment here? There is a difference you know”. That was a profound idea, and as I thought more about it, I felt that while judging people as good or bad is still not something I approve of, discerning whether they are good or bad at “something” or suitable for something is possibly quite important and not harmful at all. Now here is where I find the difference: Judgment seems to me like a decision – conscious or unconscious – on a person’s character or values (good or bad, right or wrong and related categories). It is often done quite subconsciously, whether or not we are aware of it, and its hugely colored with our own world views. While discernment is a conscious & objective assessment of a characteristic or aspect of a person, devoid of any sense of finality and based on a definitive need for the assessment (for example, making a professional decision). Discernment is necessary for making sound choices, while judgment can be an unhealthy mental pattern. 

For example:

X is unprofessional and an irresponsible person! (with the associated sense of anger and superiority)

v/s

X tends to behave unprofessionally and hence may not be appropriate for this role. (objective assessment based on a definitive need)

An interesting point to note here, is that when we act on first impressions, we are usually making a judgment. Even though there may be a legitimate need to make an assessment, and you may not really be making a character or value judgment at all, but I still think that for discernment to take place, you need to spend some time getting to know someone. You need to identify patterns in behavior and thought processes. So another crucial element of discernment is the time invested in getting to know a person, quantitatively and qualitatively.

Its helpful to have this distinction in my head, and I’m much more comfortable with assessing people now, while also being aware of whether I am judging or discerning.