Rising for Women, with Maher

Yesterday marked an important day for me. I was inspired by my company’s founder Roy’s talk at our annual event last year. As he spoke about ThoughtWorks being a company that will continue to focus deeply on social and economic justice, I was wondering how I can, as an individual start to participate in that actively. And that’s when he gave a simple suggestion, “get involved with at least one cause this year” he said. The recent Delhi rape incident really disturbed me and I decided to get actively involved with the cause of helping oppressed women in India, something that has always been close to my heart. And that’s where my involvement with Maher began.

One of the things I want to focus on this year, is to help Maher in whatever ways I can and to get them more visibility and help from TW. TW employees are brilliant and passionate people, who care about social causes, and getting them engaged with Maher would mean opening up new possibilities for Maher. Yesterday that resolve seems to have seen some light.

One Billion Rising is a worldwide movement launched by EveEnsler to rise against the violence against women globally. TW participated in this movement by organizing events in their various offices.  In our office, we invited Maher and their founder Sr. Lucy Kurien. The event started with a street play, performed by the women and children of Maher. This play illustrated the several traumas and injustices that an Indian woman has to go through, right from female feticide, denial of education, dowry deaths, rape and the insult and injustice of the judicial system. This was followed by a Talk Show with Sr Lucy, where she answered questions about Maher’s journey, the challenges they face, the evils of a sexist and discriminating society and the help they need. We then had TWers perform songs and dance, all illustrating different aspects of a woman’s identity. We concluded the day with games for the Maher children and staff, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

While the event was going on, there are few things that crystallized for me.

Active Compassion: Sr. Lucy does not cease to amaze me! Every time I meet her, I am inspired. She started her work out of love and compassion, with no idea of how to deal with the challenges of managing an institution. And it was her will that allowed her to come this far and not give up. To me, she is an embodiment of a perfect balance of compassion and will, both of which have continuously driven her throughout her journey. These 2 elements are clearly visible in how Maher is run, not like an orphanage or a shelter house, but a home, where everyone is treated like a family member, despite all the constraints present. This may sound hard to apply, and it has been, but Sr. Lucy has been an incredible manager and spokesperson, and today Maher is receiving requests from around the world to help NGO’s replicate their operational model. Often, we can swing to one side of the spectrum, we either feel bad for the oppressed and do nothing, or we do things blindly or sheerly from our own viewpoint, completely ignoring the real needs of those we are trying to help. To me Maher and Sr. Lucy are an inspirational example of the perfect balance, which leads to what I call, active compassion. Doing concrete work which is driven by compassion, and focused on the needs of the people we want to help.

A team & a community: Teamwork - This word has become such a cliché in the corporate world that I cringe when I hear it sometimes. But yesterday, I saw it in all its subtlety and all its glory. There were at least 8 to 10 of us who were managing this event collectively. Every person had their part, but no one had defined it for anyone. There was no definitive leader, no single point of contact, it was just a community of passionate people who believed in a cause. The wonder of how an unstructured and undirected team can function effectively unfolded during the event. The execution was impeccable: logistics, timing, performances and hospitality; each of it was just the quantity and quality we needed. I was grateful to have experienced such an awesome team! I was also touched by the generosity of my colleagues - Maher had put up a stall of their products which saw a sale of more than 10,000 INR. Good hearts, brilliant minds!

100 Shades of Sexism: As the street play was being performed and later Sr. Lucy spoke about the kind of women’s issues they deal with, I felt that – well – not sure how to put this one – but like I had rediscovered something I had always known but had conveniently put in the background, where it was invisible and silent. We live in an urban world, a privileged world, where education and freedom for women seem like a normal phenomena. We are so insulated from the realities of a vast majority of Indian women: the poor, the uneducated, the sex workers, the Dalits, and endless other sections. We’d like to believe that caste based oppression, dowry deaths and subjugation of women were things that belong in history textbooks, but the fact is that it’s an everyday reality of our country. I also realized that it’s probably not a knowledge issue, but one of attitude; which is the reason we can carry such beliefs. If I just look around myself I can see it everywhere, if I decide to open my eyes and ears, I’ll see it happening: my house maid, the vegetable hawker down the street, the beggar woman on the sidewalk, and the most horrifying possibility, maybe even in my own home. Sexism and gender discrimination is an ugly reality, whether it manifests in violent and visible forms, or subtle and hidden ways. (check out our movies, ads, the accepted female identity and roles in our society)Yesterday marked a turning point for me, because I cannot live with the convenience anymore, that corner in the background has become vividly visible and I hear it loud and clear!

In service to others, for yourself: One thing that always bothered me is the savior syndrome that the privileged people carry (including me). We think we should save the world and make a difference, which to me is a great motivation to have. But sometimes, there is a subtle sense of pride, maybe even arrogance attached to it, as if we have done the world a huge favor and we have become better than the rest. This is one thing that I hope to personally watch out for in myself. Helping the under privileged is certainly a good thing to do, but its also simply the right thing to do. Just like caring for our environment isn’t a favor we are doing to the planet, it’s just the right thing to do. And it’s also for our own sake’s at the end of the day to be able to survive. And so it is with helping others, we do it as much for ourselves as for others. I hope I will always have the wisdom to remember this.

Keep Rising: The sense of meaning that yesterday’s event brought for me was tremendous and I hope that my colleagues, my friends and I will keep rising in active compassion in this movement.